All the Good

So, instead of focusing on the bad (my hCG levels did not increase, and hardly went down at all, so I’m not having another baby, and I have to get another blood test Monday to make sure the ectopic is taking care of itself), I’ve been thinking about the incredible blessings I have.

And here are two if them.


Happy Easter everyone!


Ectopic, Partial Miscarriage, or “Other”?

So, I peed on a stick this morning, 6 days after I started bleeding from what I assumed would be like my previous 3 MC’s, and I got THIS result (in like 4 seconds):

Seriously.  Both lines appeared at the same time (one fainter than the other for all of 90 seconds).  I don’t even know exactly why I took this test today, just to torment myself, probably, but I’ve been feeling off since the MC, and had some nagging suspicions.  This MC was not as violent as the ones I’ve had in the past: no terrible, gut twisting cramps; no heavy bloody gushing for days on end that makes you feel like your insides are falling out; not even much tissue loss.  So, of course I wondered (read: hoped against hope).

This test was the very last one I found under my sink, and it expired in 2015, so that may have had a pinch to do with the results, but I didn’t think so. Fast forward 7 hours and I’m at my new OBGYN’s office for an appointment to get some answers.

First, she did a vaginal and cervical exam to look for any other source of bleeding.  (After the heavy-ish flow Saturday afternoon and some of Sunday, I’ve been intermittently leaking brownish blood since Monday.)  She didn’t see anything abnormal and said my cervix was closed, good.  I was a nervous wreck during this experience, praying that my baby was going to miraculously show up on the ultrasound, alive and well, even though I knew those were crazy thoughts.

My OB then inserted the ultrasound wand (ugh) and began to look.  An image flashed over the screen above my head and I squeezed my eyes shut, then snapped them open.  There was nothing to see.  No baby.  No mass.  No blighted ovum.  No sac.  My ovaries looked normal.  Nothing to see here, people!

The Verdict: We Don’t Know.

I POAS at the start of my visit, in the lobby waiting room, and the nurse came in with my result: Positive.  My OB ordered a blood test, to test my HGC levels, and scheduled me for a follow-up blood test in two days.  She’ll call me tomorrow with my first result.

So this is one of three things:

  1. An Ectopic Pregnancy,
  2. A miscarriage that is either incomplete, or in which my hormone levels are taking longer than usual to decrease, or
  3. A pregnancy that is just too new/small to see yet on ultrasound, which I can’t believe, no matter how much I want to, because I should be 6w2d today and the baby would be there, or the sac at least, right?

Out of options 1 or 2, I choose 3, thank you very much Universe.

Has anyone else been in this boat?  What was the situation for you?